


look away, look back

by oscillators (oscillovers)



Category: Cignature (Band)
Genre: (no happy ending), Alternate Universe - Canon, Established 2jiwon, F/F, Light Angst, Secret Relationship, Unrequited Crush, lapslock, warning for very brief (1 sentence) mention of dieting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 08:47:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28525704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oscillovers/pseuds/oscillators
Summary: when something changes, hyeonju notices, because she always does.
Relationships: Jin Hyeonju | Belle/Hwang Jiwon | Sunn, Kim Jiwon | Jee Won/Hwang Jiwon | Sunn
Comments: 4
Kudos: 6





	look away, look back

**Author's Note:**

> jeewon referred to as kimji, sunn as hwangji (as the girls do themselves)

if there’s one thing that jin hyeonju knows herself to be good at, it’s paying attention.

noticing details is what makes her so good at taking care of the people she cares about. it’s the aura that made semi cling to her like a lifeline when she was added to the group lineup before their second debut. it’s what makes her cook special meals for the girls she notices are spending longer playing with their food than they are eating. it’s what makes her trick chaesol into leaving the practice room on late nights under the guise of wanting to study english together. hyeonju knows that if she pays attention, she can make things better. she’s always thought of it as her own personal little superpower.

hyeonju has always paid a little too much attention to hwangji. it’s hard not to, when hwangji dotes on her, when she looks the way she does. yeonjeong openly joked about hwangji being her ideal type one time, so hyeonju knows she isn’t the only one.

hyeonju also knows that hwangji will never even look at her that way. it’s a bitter pill to swallow, but hyeonju has been living with it since she was sixteen. she will never be more than hwangji’s beloved dongsaeng, and she has accepted that it’s a fool’s love. the adoration hyeonju holds for her is destined to remain smothered for the rest of the time they’ll know each other.

all of this to say: when something changes, hyeonju notices, because she always does.

it starts somewhere during arisong promotions.

the first thing that hyeonju notices is that every day, when they’re shivering in the september breeze and it’s still far too early to justify calling it “morning,” kimji and hwangji wait until everyone else has gotten into the van before sitting together in the two front seats. every single day without fail. hyeonju supposes that on its own, it isn’t altogether suspicious.

friday morning and they’re waiting for haeun so they can make their way to music bank. semi is falling asleep standing up and chaesol is speaking to someone on the phone while yeonjeong leans her head on her shoulder.

honestly, the picture that yeonjeong and chaesol make isn’t drastically different to both jiwons. and yet. there’s something about the way that hwangji leans into kimji’s space. the comfort in it. it’s a little less simple than huddling for warmth, but an untrained eye would dismiss it as exactly that.

“i’m here,” haeun says, looking a little flustered. her blush isn’t blended properly, but they’re all ushered into the van the moment she arrives. belle sees hwangji hanging onto the corner of kimji’s sleeve through the corner of her eye, only moving when haeun, the last of them, is climbing into the van.

arisong promotions end, and hyeonju has mostly forgotten about her suspicions. mostly. not entirely. she and haeun have been learning how to knit together and most of hyeonju’s time is occupied in her newfound hobby.

it’s what she’s doing when she’s perched on the sofa on a sunday afternoon. she has a drama playing on her ipad but she’s only half paying attention to it. her fingers work quickly on the needles. she hopes her mother will like this hat.

hyeonju is so engrossed in her work that when the front door to their dorm unlocks, she nearly jumps.

“hi!” kimji beams. “don’t worry, belle-ah, just me.”

“hi, unnie,” hyeonju sighs. “what’s that?”

kimji’s holding a brown paper bag in one hand and a bunch of flowers in the other, tied together with a pink ribbon. a bouquet, hyeonju supposes, if five flowers counts as a bouquet.

“food,” kimji replies unhelpfully. “oh, hi, sunnie,” she says. she turns her whole body to face where hwangji has emerged from her bedroom.

hyeonju takes a moment to drink her in. a selfish moment that she feels guilty for even as she does it, but still. hwangji is objectively beautiful, even bare faced with her her hair tied into a low ponytail, the bleached front strands falling in her face artfully. even in her sweatpants and loose t shirt, hyeonju’s breath snags at the sight of her.

hwangji only has eyes for kimji, smiling brightly from behind the flowers she’s now clasping in both hands, held out in front of her face.

“for you, honey,” kimji says. her voice is sickly sweet and dripping with aegyo and the words are chosen so it’ll come off as exaggerated, over the top for a joke. for hyeonju’s sake, certainly - she’s their only audience.

“oh,” hwangji says, stepping forward as though entranced. “for me?”

“pretty flowers for pretty sunnie,” kimji giggles. she’s still putting it on, still going over the top, but hyeonju watches in veiled fascination because hwangji’s reaction seems a hundred percent genuine. her mouth is open on an ‘o’ when she takes the flowers from kimji’s hands and holds them close to her chest. she looks genuinely touched to the point that even kimji’s act falters, eyes softening as her smile melts into something warmer and more genuine.

hyeonju gets up abruptly. she’s seen enough. she gathers all her stuff under one arm and heads to her bedroom where she finds yeonjeong is lounging on the bed, watching youtube. she sits up in alarm at hyeonju’s sudden entrance.

“what’s up?” she asks, eyes wide.

hyeonju swallows thickly. “nothing,” she says. “i just wanted a change of scenery.” she tosses her knitting as gently as she can onto the top bunk and places her ipad on the table.

“you’re welcome to join me,” yeonjeong offers. even though hyeonju already has one foot on the ladder, she glances down at yeonjeong’s screen. it’s a makeup video. suitably brainless, perfect for hyeonju to watch when her head’s all messed up like this. she abandons her knitting and hops back down to floor level to turn towards yeonjeong.

“okay,” she says. “move over.”

even when they aren’t promoting, there’s training and preparations to be done. there always is. they need to find a way to stand out. they need to find a way to be liked. there are some things that aren’t in control - whether videos go viral, the fact that there are no fans anywhere in person anymore - but what is in their control is their skill. so they keep working on it.

hyeonju leaves the vocal trainer’s room after her lessons and is lost in her thoughts as she makes her way down the hallway when she bumps into someone, literally. their hands fly up to catch her by the arms when hyeonju loses her balance and she finds herself with her face just inches away from hwangji’s.

“unnie!” hyeonju says, stepping back. she feels her cheeks warm but passes it off as embarrassment.

“hyeonju,” hwangji says, with a smile. “you’re just who i was looking for.”

“i was?”

“i wanted to do a dance cover with jeewon unnie,” hwangji explains. it still sounds weird for her to be calling jeewon by an honorific that she had never used until recently. “but she was busy. do you want to do it with me?”

hyeonju blinks. “sure,” she says, wide eyed. she was tired, but she doesn’t mind, not for hwangji.

“great! lucky me,” she singsongs in english. “lucky lucky me.”

hyeonju swallows and follows hwangji to the practice room in silence.

hwangji is meticulous in teaching hyeonju the dance. she always is when it comes to this sort of thing, strict in the kindest possible way, even if they’re doing it for fun. they record a few takes with their masks and caps on and one or two without. by the end of it, they’re both sweating as hyeonju does her stretches to cool down.

“unnie,” hyeonju says, facing the ground, head between her elbows. over the years she’s whipped her body into being flexible enough to stretch like this but it still takes some effort out of her.

“hm,” hwangji responds, only half paying attention. she’s fixated on her phone. the boy group song that they learned today filters through the speakers, filling the silence while hyeonju hesitates.

she counts, two, three -

“don’t you think you’re being too obvious?” hyeonju says. the words tumble out of her mouth all at once, pearls on a string, and they’re almost too fast to catch.

almost.

the music pauses.

“what are you talking about?” hwangji’s voice is almost normal, save for the fact that it’s pitched a little higher than usual.

“you know,” hyeonju mumbles. she pushes herself up and slides her legs together before leaning back against the mirror. she knows how she looks like this. small, unassuming. non-confrontational, which is something when hwangji’s stance is the only thing that gives away the tension. she looks like she’s halfway to pouncing.

“i don’t.”

fine, if that’s how it’ll go. hyeonju steels herself. “i know about you and jeewon unnie. kimji unnie. i know.”

hwangji’s expression stays flat. “what do you know, juju?”

hyeonju feels her confidence whither, both at the lack of reaction and the nickname. a part of her had suspected that hwangji would give in right away.

another, sillier part of her had hoped that hwangji would tell her without prompting. she had imagined herself being her confidante, someone she could tell secrets to. hyeonju had pictured special treatment because she was so used to hwangji’s affection that she thought that maybe she deserved this one thing.

“you’re dating, aren’t you?” hyeonju tries her best to filter out any hints of an accusatory tone but doesn’t know how successful she is.

“juju,” hwangji says, and there she goes. hyeonju swallows. “you know that we can’t date.”

“well, yeah, _i_ know that,” hyeonju says. “i was wondering whether you had forgotten the rules.”

“i know them very well, actually. the rules,” hwangji starts, slipping her phone into her pocket, “say that we can’t go on dates.”

it’s easy enough, then, for hyeonju to fill in the gaps herself. a romantic relationship between members was likely to never have occurred to the company staff. and even if it had, why would the company care if two members are kissing on the bunkbeds and getting each other special gifts and holding each others’ hands in the van? the ban on dating is to avoid scandal, and with a relationship like this, they’re exponentially less likely to be caught. if anything, it’s an aspect of the sought-after group chemistry that’s so vital to success in the industry these days. so why would the company care?

so why does hyeonju care?

“haeun knows,” hwangji says suddenly. “i suppose you do too, now.”

and that’s another arrow, shot directly at hyeonju’s pride. she isn’t even the first to know.

hwangji continues talking. “i know you’re smart, hyeonju, so you won’t say anything, will you?”

“of course, unnie,” hyeonju says with a perfect smile. “i would never.”

they make their return to the dorm in a car with semi and yeonjeong. haeun and kimji have apparently already gone home. when hyeonju checks, there isn’t any disappointment on hwangji’s face, but maybe the mask makes it hard to tell. regardless, hyeonju settles in beside her and finds herself falling into a light sleep.

“hyeonju,” comes a soft voice, some time later. there’s a warm hand on her own. “hyeonju, wake up.”

hyeonju wakes and realises that she’s resting her head on hwangji’s shoulder and is holding onto her arm with both of her hands.

she keeps her eyes shut and enjoys the closeness. just for a single, selfish moment.

“we’re home, juju,” whispers hwangji. her breath is warm against hyeonju’s ear. “you’ve gotta get up.”

“okay,” hyeonju mumbles. she feigns being sleepier than she is so hwangji will hold her hand to support her as they get out the van and stays clinging on even afterwards. hwangji has always been generous with her affection towards hyeonju, so she doesn’t pull away, even when they get back into their dorm. home, hwangji had called it. not quite home.

kimji and haeun are already there, as expected, and hyeonju catches sight of them sitting on kimji’s bunk talking together quietly. there’s an odd pang in her chest. she wonders how haeun found out. maybe they told her. which one of them? surely kimji would have been the one to tell her. maybe hyeonju’s just deluding herself into thinking hwangji likes her any more than any of the other members and hwangji told haeun.

“you okay?” chaesol asks as she passes her, a gentle hand on hyeonju’s shoulder.

her hands are always cold. not like hwangji’s. hyeonju shrugs it off as gently as she can and musters up a smile.

“i’m fine,” she lies. chaesol pouts, clearly uncertain, but lets her be. hyeonju is quick to get away and makes a beeline to the shower where she can be alone with her thoughts.

evenings on certain days of the week are reserved for company-mandated bonding time. they don’t mind, seeing as they’re already close, and there’s never anything wrong with gathering together with your friends and watching a movie or eating together. there’s a drama that they’re slated to record an OST for in the coming week, and that’s what they’re watching today. semi points out that they don’t technically have to watch the drama to sing the song for it, but haeun, as politely as possible, tells her to shut up and sit down.

hyeonju eyes the setup. haeun is already sitting right in the centre with yeonjeong and chaesol either side of her. she starts when she realises that hwangji and kimji are curled up together, kimji practically in hwangji’s lap. hwangji’s arms are wrapped loosely around kimji’s waist. she spends one long moment watching them before she turns away and sits herself down between yeonjeong and semi. from now on, that’s one thing that hyeonju has resolved that she will _not_ be paying any more attention to. let them have what they want. why should hyeonju care?

and when hwangji’s gaze rests upon hyeonju, peering out from over kimji’s shoulder, hyeonju doesn’t notice.

**Author's Note:**

> i love cignature so much u have no idea. i hope all 2 members of cignature ficdom enjoy this.
> 
> [twt, 18+, almost exclusively for nct](https://twitter.com/oscillovers)  
> [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/oscillovers)


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